


Finding a Mate

by sarbear_hugs



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alpha Arthur, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, F/M, M/M, Mates, Omega Merlin, Protective Arthur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:19:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5301884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarbear_hugs/pseuds/sarbear_hugs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beginning of a potentially long work-</p><p>Arthur, as an Alpha prince, goes out into the kingdom to find his true mate. When he finds Merlin there is a storm coming and the Alpha needs to save his new mate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I have more to this but I would like some feedback as it goes along. I don't know how long it will be but probably at least three chapters...
> 
> All kudos and comments are appreciated- and there will be more to come!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beginning of a potentially long work-
> 
> Arthur, as an Alpha prince, goes out into the kingdom to find his true mate. When he finds Merlin there is a storm coming and the Alpha needs to save his new mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXCITING NEWS!! Now this work is being translated into Chinese! (http://www.mtslash.org/thread-221329-1-1.html)
> 
> Also I am working on this (promise) but graduate school is also kicking my ass. It will be finished and then the chapters will be edited (since I don't have a beta) so if you notice anything wrong just let me know! I appreciate all of you reading and being patient with me and my horrendous posting habits!!
> 
> Love y'all!

The winter was much colder than anyone had anticipated. Of course it had to be the winter that Arthur decided to go searching for his mate. Every king before him had done it in his twentieth year and now it was Arthur’s turn. Every Omega in the kingdom was to be presented to the prince for scenting so that the prince could find his prefect mate and have the best chances of producing a strong litter of pups.  
It was preferable to the horrible arranged marriages that all other nobility had to suffer through. 

He had been on the road for three weeks now and not one Omega had drawn his eye. Some had been beautiful enough but their scents hadn’t drawn him in. One had smelled quite nice but she had been rather revolting in person so Arthur had passed on. His group of knights had come along with him and only one had managed to find a mate along the way. The knights that traveled with the prince were given the privilege to select a mate without interfering parents if they were chosen. It was a privilege that was given to only a few of Arthur’s knights. Only Leon had found a sweet Omega that had drawn him like a fly to honey. It was seeing that strong desire that quickly turned to devotion that kept Arthur going. He needed to find that same bond.

However much he desired the bond, Arthur hated stopping in the smaller villages to the families who had Omegas or the small Omega homes. He hated to see the suffering of his people but until he was king, not just crowned prince, there wasn’t much he could do about it. What he hated more than the poverty was the fear. The people were afraid of their soon to be ruler. They waivered in his presence and the Omegas shook as they were presented. Arthur tried to make them as comfortable as possible. He tried to always be smiling and kind and not take too much away from the people who didn’t have the luxury to stand around all day. 

He had thought about breaking up some of the Omega houses. They were honestly some of the worst places on the face of the earth. It was clear that the Omegas were underfed and overworked but there was nowhere for the Omegas to go. If they broke up the houses then they would have to find homes for all of the Omegas and they couldn’t do that while searching for the prince’s Omega. Honestly it broke Arthur’s heart.

However, none of the Omega houses struck a blow to Arthur’s heart like the one in Ealdor. There wasn’t much to the little village but the Omega house was clearly in disrepair. The people crept out of their houses to watch the procession were clearly afraid. The village was closer to the border than any other village they had visited before but clearly the distrust was stronger further away from the capital. They paraded into the central square. The central square was little more than a dirt packed area with hey laid down. A man crept out of the Omega house and Arthur was even more disconcerted. He was small but clearly strong, filthy and a mouth of rotted teeth.  
“Welcome, my liege.” His words sent chills up Arthur’s spine. He had had his ass kissed enough times to know exactly what it looked like.  
“Thank you. I would like to give my knights the first look. They have been eager to find their mates as well.”  
“As you wish, my liege”  
Four knights followed the creep inside the house. Arthur sometimes went straight in but here he felt that it was better to have his men check it out first. This close to the border it would be easy for an assassin to bribe his way in. The men were in there for a long while and the remaining men outside tried to talk to the locals and barter for some supplies. Finally the men came out whooping and hollering. That was clearly a good sign. Lancelot was the last one out carrying a small figure in his arms. The man had found his Omega mate.  
He approached Arthur and presented the young girl, Gwen, with bright eyes. Arthur welcomed her with open arms. He loved seeing another of his men happily mated. Especially Lance. The boy he had made a knight against his father’s recommendation deserved to be happy.  
“There were only six of them in there to begin with, sir. There isn’t much change of your Omega being there also but it is safe for you to go in.” Leon spoke quietly for Arthur’s ears only.  
Arthur sighed and wandered in anyway. He was going to look at all of the Omegas in the nation so that he could be certain that he had the one.

The main room of the house was dark and reeked. Arthur was absolutely revolved but forced his way into the space. Five Omegas stood in the center with the old creep behind them. They kept their eyes focused on the ground and one seemed barely able to stand. God, they were a sorry sight.

Arthur approached the first Omega. She was about twenty, thin, tired and weary. For a moment, Arthur wished that she would be the one so that he might be able to give her some relief. However, he could tell right away that she wasn’t the one. 

Next, there was a boy about the same age. He was also thin and weary but he had a bit more spark to him. Arthur had hope for the man but there was a hard life in store for him. The next two were small, likely no older than thirteen, and it disgusted Arthur that any Omega so young would be presented to him. While they had presented and could be mated, they were so young that they were likely not matured. Arthur had never considered taking a mate so young since they would be expected to produce pups right away. 

The last was the one who could barely stand. He seemed more like eighteen but his eyes were hazy. Even in the dark light Arthur could see that there were bruises blooming on his neck and face. The rest of his body must have looked much worse. He must have been beaten five ways from Sunday in the last few days. The poor thing was swaying and Arthur’s heart sank. As Arthur drew closer, the boy’s knees gave out and fell forward toward the prince. Arthur caught him on instinct but he was glad that he did. The other Omegas immediately scattered to the corners of the room as the creep began to shout.  
“Damn you worthless piece of shit! My liege, you don’t have to hold the little scum up. He deserves little more than the dirt floor.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“I must apologize for his behavior. It is completely humiliating for me to present this sort of product to you…” his ramblings continued to fill the space but Arthur made no move to set down the boy. The words coming from the old man were stoking the fires of Arthur’s rage. How could anyone treat another human this way? This boy was quickly worming his way into Arthur’s heart. He bowed his head to try and get a better look at the boy. He was unhealthily skinny, knobby and messy black curls. His ears were sticking out from his head but Arthur was more distracted by the black eye he was sporting.  
Something made Arthur lean in closer. He brushed a hand over the boy’s hair and smeared the dirt and sweat on his brow. It hit him like a ton of bricks. It was the most beautiful smell he had ever encountered. Sure it was layered with blood, filth, pain and sweat. He hated this place even more since now he knew that it had hurt his mate.

His mate.

He had found his mate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spark of Merlin's feisty personality begins to shine- and Arthur is still protective :)

Arthur stormed out of the house with the Omega in his arms. The men had cheered at first seeing their fearless leader come out into the sun with his prize. Only a few picked up on his rage, notably Leon. The old creep stumbled out after the prince calling for some sort of payment. It wasn’t unheard of that Omega houses requested some payment but now it was making Arthur sick. It was clear that any money wouldn’t be going to help keep the Omegas healthy and well fed.   
He wouldn’t hear another word in the man’s defense.

“Leon!”  
“Yes, sire”  
“Get the other Omegas out of there. Then burn this place to the ground. Nobody deserves to live like that. Make sure the old man is not inside but tell him that if I ever find out about him keeping Omegas again then it will be his head.”  
“Yes, sire”

Arthur and Lance pulled their Omegas toward the wagons while Leon rallied the others to follow the prince’s orders. When Gwen saw the boy she sat up and tried to move to his aid. Lance shushed her and held her close. It wasn’t a good idea to get in the bubble of Arthur’s new mate space just yet. It was normal for Alphas to be overly protective of their new mates.   
The boy’s eyes were flickering open at that point. The wind was starting to blow in some cold air. He shuddered in the new cold. In response, Arthur pulled the boy closer to his chest and tried to block out offending air. The four approached a carriage that had traveled with them so that the prince and his Omega could travel back to the capital in safety.   
Once the four had climbed inside the boy calmed his shivering somewhat but he was still hazy.  
Gwen spoke up. “His name is Merlin. Accolon, the old man, caught him last month during a blizzard. He had been living with his mother until then. He doesn’t take orders well…” She ducked her head into Lance’s chest to hide her embarrassment at being so forward.  
“Don’t worry, he is in good hands now.” Lance assured her.  
Arthur wasn’t really that surprised to learn that his mate didn’t take orders well. Arthur didn't take to orders well either. He liked the ide of his mate being strong willed and clever so maybe fate had given him what he desired. But right now the Omega didn’t look like he would be defying anyone. “Merlin, can you look at me?”  
The boy did little more than moan and turn further into Arthur’s arms. Normally, Arthur wouldn’t have complained but he needed to make sure that his Omega was all right.  
With some encouragement from Lance, Gwen spoke again, “Accolon was trying to… have his way…. with Iseult…the youngest…”tears welled in her eyes, “but Merlin wouldn’t have it. ‘said that she was too young, hadn’t even had her first heat yet…and Accolon didn’t take it too well.”   
“All the better the others will be taken out of his care.” Arthur grunted. He wanted to take some anger out on the old man but just so long as no helpless Omega was in his charge again he couldn’t justify taking the man’s life or limb.

There was a knock on the door when one of the knights appeared with some warm blankets and cloaks that were stored in the last wagon in case the weather turned bad. Arthur immediately wrapped one around the little Merlin even if he would rather have gotten them both naked in a warm bed. He couldn’t have his mate freezing to death before the got home.  
“Merlin, please look at me.”  
This time the hazy eyes of the Omega cleared and found their way to Arthur’s. He had never seen eyes brighter and clearer than these. They made him feel safe.   
“Merlin, everything is going to be ok, just stay awake now, alright?”   
Merlin managed to nod and curled further into Arthur’s arms. The large Alpha kept away the cold. 

The carriage jolted into movement as the party began the journey back to the capital. Now that the prince had found his mate they would all return to Camelot and feast in the new bonded pair’s honor. Arthur calculated that it would take them about three days to reach their home but he had to make sure that Merlin would be alright for the journey. Once the foursome got situated in the carriage Merlin seemed to come out of his haze. He had been shy and angry around all the Alphas but when Arthur and Lance stepped out to check on the rest of the group Arthur could hear him talking to Gwen. She had been must less hesitant when interacting with other Alphas and was already clearly devoted to her new bond mate. Lance was smitten and it made Arthur envious. He wished that Merlin would warm up to him like Gwen had to Lance. 

Riding sitting in a bumpy carriage all day was not a comfortable way to travel but Arthur would have it no other way. Leon’s Omega Acheflow was riding in the other carriage with the rescued omegas. He was taking good care of them while Gwen and Merlin kept each other company.   
When they stopped for some relief, food and water, Merlin immediately went over to check on the other Omegas from his home. He made sure that they were warm and fed and comfortable. He demanded that the knights find another blanket for Iseult since she needed to be warmer. They followed his request, even if they were startled at the Omega’s forwardness. Merlin was unaware that the knights would have done anything he requested since he was now the prince’s Omega so he was perhaps a bit more forceful than needed.   
Once he got the other omegas settled he allowed himself to be ushered back to the carriage with Gwen.  
“Please, Merlin?” Arthur had practically begged. “There isn’t enough space for you to be back there with the rest of them and you will be safer in the smaller carriage in case we have to move quickly.”  
“So we would just leave them behind if something went wrong?”  
“No…but we could get you safely-“  
“I wouldn’t want to leave them behind. I am no better than-“  
“Yes you are, Merlin” Arthur had explained his station as prince as soon as Merlin was coherent enough to understand. “You are the prince’s Omega now and your life is very important to the Kingdom.”  
“I’m nothing special!”  
The words broke Arthur’s heart.  
“Yes you are special, Merlin. Even if only to me you are special and precious and I will protect you. Please just do as I ask. I promise to make sure all of you will be safely escorted home.”  
Merlin huffed with that and got into his carriage. Now that he wasn’t hurting quite as badly from his beating he was more than willing to put up a fight at every corner.   
Uther was not going to be happy about that. 

Nothing was helped by the impending storm.   
For the first day the wind was bitter cold but not bad for the Omegas who were riding in the covered carriages. The second day the clouds began to gather in the West, taking away the sun’s warmth earlier in the day. On the third day those clouds turned black and menacing with stronger winds pushing them behind the hurrying caravan. The knights were not excited about the prospect of traveling in either rain or snow. The last thing they wanted was to get stranded away from the castle before the snow struck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter came super quickly after the first but that is what happens when I am on break and all kinds of time to write- there is more on the way but no promises as to when it will be up.
> 
> Thanks for your comments and kudos and everything!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home sweet home

Unfortunately, the group couldn't outrun the impending storm. Snow began falling on the morning of their third and last day. Merlin didn’t notice at first since he was warm and cozy in the carriage. He spent most of the day dozing and didn’t notice them slowing in the cold. Midmorning, the parade stopped for food, alerting Merlin to the drop in temperature outside.   
Arthur had opened the door with food and extra blankets. “I will not have you getting over cold.” Arthur had blushed cutely when he pushed them into Merlin’s hands. Merlin had blushed in response before pushing the furs back.   
“Just so long as the other’s don't get over cold either.”  
“They are fine, Merlin. I assure you.”  
“What about the men on horseback.”  
“They are fine also, we found some of these tucked away under some food stores. It was agreed that the two of you needed them the most. We should still get in later today. Hopefully before the sun sets.”  
Merlin just sighed and didn’t make eye contact while Arthur tucked him in. 

He had been determined not to let Arthur in. He wasn’t going to be some little Omega that fawned over his Alpha. Gwen was all about Lance and it made Merlin nauseous. Sure Lance was great and all but…

For all his efforts, Merlin found himself warming to the Alpha that was always kind and respectful. Hell, the Alpha had even started asking before sitting next to him in the carriage. There was a little twinge every time he saw Arthur that made him want to snuggle into big arms. 

Shit.

The last day was cold. Hellishly cold. The men were complaining openly and everyone was moving as fast as they could. At least the roads were not muddy yet so the carriages didn’t get stuck. Merlin found himself huddling up with Gwen to keep them both warm. 

They didn’t beat the sun either. As soon as it disappeared behind the storm clouds it made little difference but the darkness set in quickly. Due to the darkness and the huddling Merlin didn’t see anything of his new home until the carriage pulled to a stop. Even then he was huddled out of the cool carriage by Arthur into an equally cool castle. The halls were chilled but after a few sets of stairs and lots of shivering Arthur opened the doors into the Prince’s chambers. 

Arthur had never been gladder that he sent a messenger ahead to make sure the castle was prepared for return.

There was a maid filling a steaming bath by the roaring fire who smiled at them when they entered. “It is good to see you, majesty. I am almost finished here and then if I can fetch you anything else…”

“Thank you Elizabeth. This should be all.”   
“Of course, majesty.”  
She didn’t look at Merlin, but it was not the first time that he had been completely ignored because of his status. He wasn’t going to let it bother him overmuch…but was this how everyone was going to treat him in his new home? His heart sank a little. He didn’t want to be little more than a fixture in the castle. He wanted to be comfortable and safe in his own home- not afraid of the staff.

After Arthur finished speaking to the maid he ignored her presence. She finished filling up the bath with water heated on the fire and left. In the meantime Arthur had pulled Merlin to a comfortable couch near the fire to start pulling off the furs. Merlin was sad to see his warm cocoon taken apart but the room was much warmer than outside and the fire gave its blessed heat. After she left Arthur continued to take off Merlin’s clothes down to the last layer. The clothes that Merlin wore in the house were disgusting, caked with dirt and filth. Arthur tossed them on the floor.

“How about we get you in the bath, Merlin?”  
The Omega was sitting in his braes on the soft cushion, warm but wishing for more of the soft blankets. Did he really want Arthur to wash him? Nobody had touched him that much since he was a child being tended to by his mother.   
“Ok”  
Even if Merlin didn’t want to make eye contact, he wanted to be pampered by his Alpha. His instincts were calling for him to be coddled and adored by this man who claimed that he would care for him forever. It sounded nice even if it was an ideal that would likely never actually happen.  
Arthur’s smile was more than enough to sooth Merlin’s nerves. The Alpha looked like he had just been given the greatest gift possible, not a chore to tend to his Omega.

Striping Merlin’s braes, Arthur lead him over to the steaming bath and helped Merlin in. The water was warmer than anything he had ever bathed in before. Honestly, he had spent most of his life bathing in lakes and rivers that were usually frigid. He couldn’t help let a sigh escape at the warmth that encased his body. If baths like this were going to be common in his future, he didn’t think he would mind living in the palace with the prince.

Arthur tended to every inch of Merlin. He gently rubbed soap into Merlin’s shoulders and back. Then he moved on to washing his black curls. There was nothing more soothing than being attended to by such a gentle Alpha. 

Once Arthur had finished washing Merlin he left the Omega to soak for a while in the cooling water while cleaning up himself. He really just splashed some warm water on his face and more smelly parts before changing into a loose tunic and breaches. When he turned back to the bath it appeared that Merlin had almost fallen asleep. Arthur collected his new Omega from the tub and dried him off. The Omega had turned to putty in his hands. 

Arthur bundled his new love into their bed that had been warmed by bed warmer that Arthur removed so they wouldn’t burn themselves and tucked them both into the furs. 

Merlin had practically fallen asleep in the bath but Arthur lay awake. He watched his new Omega sleep peacefully before being pulled into dreamland himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is kinda lame... I wanted to post something for you all so here it comes

Arthur cursed his body when it woke him at dawn. He groaned and stretched his aching muscles, careful not to disturb the boy in his arms. The soft puffs of breath from Merlin’s mouth were calming in their regularity. His instincts as an Alpha were pacified by the calm, clean, fed and warm Omega in his arms. 

Shit.

Food.

He hadn’t fed Merlin last night.  
He carefully slid out of bed so Merlin could continue to sleep and made sure he was decent before opening the door to the main rooms carefully. It was known to creek when abused and he couldn’t risk disturbing the new center to his universe. He breathed a sigh when he saw that a morning meal had been laid out. The servants were used to his regular routine including taking his morning meal with the rising of the sun. He would have to thank someone for thinking to double the portions since he had a new addition to his rooms. 

Arthur gathered the tray of food and used his back to open the door back to the bedchamber. The morning sun dancing around the room was beautiful, but no match for the sight of his new love sleeping peacefully. He munched on some bread and fruit while he watched the boy sleep. He thought about returning to bed but his mind was awake and floating with all of the new possibilities in his life. 

The sun was clearly up by the time Merlin stirred in the bed. After a moment he surveyed his surroundings and caught sight of Arthur, watching. 

“See anything interesting?” the Omega quipped.  
“Do you want the sappy reply?”  
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because it seemed to shut Merlin down. The boy just shrugged and turned away from his new mate.

Arthur responded with a sigh and carried the tray to the boy in bed. “There is fruit, bread, cheese, watered wine and some nuts. Please feel free to eat what you would like. Is there anything else you need?”

Merlin sat up and inspected the food placed next to him. He chose some bread and nuts but avoided the finer foods. He didn’t look up at Arthur or respond to the question. 

They sat in silence for a while, both nervous now that they were aware of the other.   
When Merlin had eaten (not as much as Arthur would have liked but he wasn’t going to push) he looked out the window but addressed the Alpha. “What is going to happen now?”

The question caught Arthur off guard. “What do you want to happen, Merlin?”  
“I wish I knew… but I expect it has all been decided for me.”  
“Unfortunately, destiny decides plenty for each of us, but we can do what we will with the choices we are given.”  
“What kind of shit answer is that?”  
The fiery response gave Arthur hope; he loved that spark in his new mate. “Something I have always clung to, Merlin. I am sorry for anything that I might have taken away from you. However, I suspect that you have not had many choices in your life, just as I have not. I try to make do with what I can.”  
Merlin just hummed in response and turned back to the window. “So then I guess what I want to know is what has been decided for me?”

“I have to be honest with you, a few things have been decided. I talked to you briefly on the way and you know that I am the crown prince. My father will certainly want to meet you. Unfortunately, I suspect that he will not be much taken by you but he was never much taken by anyone I actually like.” He tried to offer a reassuring smile but suspected that it fell flat. “We will have a public mating ceremony, filled with dull pomp but we can dredge through that later. Um… we will have to produce an heir eventually but…” Arthur blushed and trailed off. He should have thought more about what was going to happen from Merlin’s perspective. He had been too caught up in the prospect of getting his father off his back, having a companion and having pups all his own. He had never thought about the new life for Merlin that was going to be so different from what he knew.

“So nothing…” Merlin’s sarcasm was encouraging but the disheartened look on his face said differently.   
“I know that this is not easy for you Merlin, but I want to make this as easy for you as possible.”  
“Thanks, Arthur. I guess.”

“How about we start small? I can get you something warm to wear and then take you on a tour of the palace and the grounds. Or I can take you to meet some of my closest friends… or something else if you had anything in mind…” God he was trying to be accommodating here but he had no idea what would be best for Merlin.

“I think I would like to get out a bit…but I don’t want to make a big commotion…”  
“We will do our best not to attract any unwanted attention.”  
That earned a hard earned smile from the Omega.

====================================================================

Arthur had bundled Merlin up as warmly as Merlin would let him. There were firs and linens and oversize coats (Arthur’s coats were much too large for Merlin) loaded onto the Omega before Merlin had to put his foot down and demand that Arthur stop trying to dress him any warmer. 

Arthur led the way out into the main castle. There were people bustling about and each stopped briefly to acknowledge the prince before going back to their business. Merlin was surprised at the informality. Sure he had seen how casual the knights were with their prince but Merlin had suspected that they had forged stronger bonds in battle than were normal. 

Arthur gave a running commentary of what they were seeing. They began in the main hall and ballrooms, spaces bigger than Merlin had ever seen in his life. Then came the kitchens, and Merlin fell in love with the warmth and the freshly baked bread smell. Then they went to the laundry however briefly because of the revolting smell. The stables visit was also brief since it was still freezing cold outside. The kennel visit was short for the same reason. They only walked past the barracks and the servant’s quarters. Honestly this disappointed Merlin. He would have liked to see how people of his previous station were treated here. 

The pair did spend a long time at the physician’s rooms. Gaius, the elder healer welcomed Merlin with open arms and a promise to be of service if the Omega needed anything. Since everyone else had not even seemed to notice Merlin the change was welcome. Gaius had earned several smiles from Merlin, making Arthur rather jealous, but he was glad that Merlin had found a friend. 

They made their way to the dining rooms when it was time for lunch and they ate at one of the high tables. Merlin was glad that during normal meals there were only two kinds of tables; those for nobility and those for the servants. This meant that Arthur and Merlin were seated alongside knights and other nobles. Lance, Leon and a few other knights that Merlin recognized from the journey were present and it put Merlin at ease. 

After lunch they made their way back to the upper floors of the palace. Arthur showed him the throne room but they didn’t dally, then they went on to the council chambers, nobility rooms and the library. 

Merlin could read a bit but he had never been allowed to touch a book before in his life. Arthur showed him the vast space with pride but Merlin was much too hesitant to touch anything.

They returned to their rooms not much later. It was about time for dinner but Arthur had asked for their meal to be served in their chambers. He figured it was better for them to have a good talk before things got too complicated.


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin awoke with a fever and Arthur awoke in a panic. Gaius was summoned immediately. 

“What could have caused this, Gaius?” Arthur demanded once Merlin had been checked out and put back to bed.   
“A great number of things Arthur, and you fretting too much will only make it worse.”  
“He is my mate and I will do everything in my power to make him better, keep him safe. Right now I am willing to do anything to make sure he recovers and that this never happens again.”  
“While that is very noble of you, there isn’t anything you can do and there is likely nothing you can do from stopping it again. These things happen, Arthur. There is only so much you can do before you stop doing good and only hurting him.”  
“But I have to do something.”  
“Sometimes something is simple, like staying with him and entertaining him.”  
“I won’t leave his side.”  
“Heavens, do you even listen? Just get him what he needs but don’t neglect yourself and your duties. I will be keeping an eye on him as well.”  
“Thank you for your help, Gaius. I am counting on you.”

The second time Merlin awoke it was to a snoring Arthur. He could tell that the fever was worse. He hated the sweaty aches that trembled through his body. The snores of his mate were comforting. He managed to roll over and reach out for Arthur who was laying clothed on top of the blankets.   
Arthur jolted awake and reached out for Merlin in return.  
“Oh, you’re awake. Are you feeling any better? Can I get you anything? Do I need to fetch Gaius?”  
Merlin smiled at the rapid-fire questions that escalated Arthur’s panic. “I’m fine, Arthur. The fever is still here but the sleep was nice.”  
“So do you need anything?”  
“No, Arthur. What are you doing here?”  
“What? Did you think that I was going to leave you here all alone?”  
“Maybe… I don’t know…”  
“Well, I wouldn’t. You are important to me, Merlin. You are my mate.”  
“Sure, but don’t you have Princely duties to attend to?”  
“I got some things done this morning while you slept but I couldn’t stand to leave you for too long.”  
“Oh…” What was Merlin supposed to say to that? Arthur had left him alone since they had gotten back.  
Arthur broke the awkward silence by jumping out of bed and over to the table. “How about something to drink?”   
“Sure, thanks, Arthur.”

Thankfully, Gaius entered at that moment, giving both parties a reprieve from the uncomfortable conversation. “Ah, Merlin. I am glad you are awake. Are you feeling any better?”  
“Not really, Gaius. I’m fine, though.”  
“I will determine that.” The older man examined Merlin quickly and thankfully without any invasiveness. Merlin found that he was actually rather comfortable around the older Beta. He was calm, focused and gentle.   
“Well, I think it has gotten worse, but not much. More rest is in order and food if you feel up to eating. Arthur, you should keep an eye on him but let him sleep.” The prince and healer exchanged a look that Merlin didn’t understand before the old man packed his bag and left the pair with their uncomfortable quiet. 

The third time Merlin awoke something was definitely worse. Arthur wasn’t in the room but everything was fuzzy and when he sat up the room spun. A moan escaped him and the sound must have alerted Arthur in the next room because the next moment a blurry face waved in front of his eyes. Arthur’s concerned voice sounded as if it was under water and Merlin struggled to understand. He could feel Arthur’s hands on his shoulders but each touch was like he was on fire.   
Some time later, Gaius’ blurry face joined Arthur who then appeared to be sent from the room. Gaius examined Merlin again and while his hands burned they didn’t cause the searing heat that Arthur’s did. Eventually, Gaius left again and Merlin was left to his shivers. 

 

“Gaius!” Arthur rushed the old man when he emerged from the royal chambers. “What is wrong? Why is he worse?”  
“Calm down, Arthur. Yes, he is worse but I am not over worried about him.”  
“What is the matter? What do I have to do?”  
“Again, you must calm down, Arthur. You need to be calm for Merlin.”  
Arthur took a strained breath and paced around the room. “Ok, what needs to be done?”  
“Merlin has gone into heat. Your mate needs you.”  
That did nothing to lessen Arthur’s panic. “We didn’t even talk about anything! I have never heard of a heat being this bad! Is there something else?”  
“I don’t know why it would be this bad but that is what is happening. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him about this before either. I suspect he was ill and then the heat just made it worse but if you go in there and help him in the way only you can then I suspect whatever else ails him will work itself out.”  
“Gods, how did this happen?”  
“You were demanding before that you be given something to do in order to help your young mate. Now is the time for you take action, my prince.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just going to leave this here for your enjoyment.  
> It is my first attempt at anything of the sort so... yah.  
> It was also the hardest chapter so far  
> Also if the rating should be E just let me know...that sort of thing is kinda hard to know...
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!

The door shut behind Arthur with an ominous thud. God, Arthur was not prepared for this, he had expected more time before Merlin’s heat.  
If only he had more time!  
If only Merlin had not fallen ill, Arthur could have spoken about it that morning. 

The smell oozed into the air from the now thrashing Omega on the bed. Merlin was clearly in pain and the fever from the heat would only get worse.  
Arthur felt the sweet aroma of wanting mate and it bypassed all rational sense to Arthur’s Alpha brain. That Alpha went into overdrive. But all the same, it felt wrong, like he was taking advantage of his new beloved  
God, he was torn.

Arthur was pulled to Merlin’s side and began running a soothing hand through the Omega’s hair. Gaius had said to do anything to help Merlin. Arthur could do that but he hated thinking that he might be taking advantage. 

But then Merlin opened his eyes and groaned while rolling into Arthur’s touch.  
“Arthur” the Omega moaned.  
“Oh, Merlin,” Arthur sighed, “how about we get you some water and see if you can cool down.”  
Merlin sent him a pained smile in assent.  
Arthur gathered water and held it to Merlin’s mouth. The Omega drank greedily before collapsing back into the pillows. Every second of watching Merlin suffer was breaking Arthur’s heart.

Merlin reached up for Arthur with a whimper and the Alpha let himself be pulled by the weakened Omega down to the bed where they cuddled up next to each other for a quiet moment.  
The Omega couldn’t believe how much the fever was soothed just by having his Alpha close to him. It was better than a thousand cups of ice water or a soothing cloth on his forehead. This simple touch was what he was aching for. Merlin tried to get closer to the bulking Alpha causing Arthur to chuckle.  
“You hardly need my warmth little Omega, what do you need?”  
“You”  
“Shhhh, we haven’t had time to really talk, Merlin. I don’t think you are in your right mind just now.”  
“I know that I have never had a heat this bad before. Never. And now the only relief I can get is when you are close to me. Please. I know what I am asking for and I give it to you freely and of my own will.”  
“I suppose I can trust that, but I still worry…”  
“Come down here and kiss me and you won’t have to think about it anymore.”

Arthur leaned down and pressed his lips gently to the Omega’s forehead, then his nose and then his lips. Merlin’s eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touches of his soon to be mate. Oh, just the gentle brushes of Arthur’s mouth were enough to give him some measure of relief.  
The sweet, soft moans that Merlin began releasing with every contact with Arthur were driving the Alpha crazy. Merlin tried to shed his nightclothes that were rather filthy now that Merlin had managed to sweat through them but that required moving away from the Alpha that was giving him sweet relief. He couldn’t bear to move even a bit away from the warm pulsing body of Arthur. Fortunately, his mate was clever enough to notice that Merlin was trying to rid himself of any barrier.  
Merlin moaned again when Arthur pulled away, this time in pain as their bodies separated. Arthur stripped his clothes and then gently pulled Merlin out of his shirt. Laying back down Arthur wrapped his arms and legs around his smaller mate. Both of them let out a sigh of relief. Merlin’s tremors ceased and a weight lifted off of Arthur’s shoulders. The Alpha let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Being able to bury his nose in his new love’s neck and breathe in the most beautiful smell. 

Eventually, all four hands began to wander, to explore and feel the flesh of the other. Some were completely innocent, like Merlin’s hand on Arthur’s shoulder. Others were more intimate, like Arthur’s fingers pressing into Merlin’s ass.  
That made Merlin writhe and moan. The feelings were something so new and so wonderful he thought he might explode.  
But everything only got more intense, the touches more intimate until Merlin was certain that he had lost all traces of sanity.

Kissing was another story altogether. The heat centered at their joined mouths and seemed to explode. The hungrily devoured each other and basking in the sweet tastes of each other’s mouths. Merlin could have gone on kissing forever but Arthur’s Alpha had other ideas.

When Arthur’s first two fingers found their way into Merlin’s most intimate hole Merlin jumped a moment. He had expected more pain from the intrusion but found himself open and wanting for a deeper connection. He pushed down onto the figures hoping for more, hoping to be deeper and closer to his almost mate. Arthur just laughed and gently stretched out his new love, preparing him for what came next. There were a few more intense moments of stretching and pressing deeper before Merlin broke, again.  
“Please, Alpha.”  
“Arthur.”  
The unexpected comment caught Merlin off guard. The fire was still there, but there was a sudden pause where they made eye contact.  
“Call me Arthur, please little one, Arthur.”  
“Please, Arthur. I need more. I need something more.”

The kissing continued for another moment while Arthur continued to rub inside Merlin. He was using what was left of his rational mind to find that one spot, that one thing that would send Merlin into a spiral of pure pleasure.  
Merlin screamed.  
The Alpha in him howled with joy at his mate’s apparent pleasure. He had created so much joy and now he was going to do even more. 

A growl rumbled in Arthur’s chest while he kissed his way down Merlin’s neck to where he would place his mate mark. Oh, he couldn’t wait. With his free hand, he reached down to stroke his mate’s hardened member. Sloppy kisses and licks were lathed on Merlin’s neck. One hand massaged Merlin’s prostate. The other hand gently rubbed in a steady rhythm up and down the Omega’s length. 

“God, I love how you taste, Merlin…”

“Arthuuuurrr” Merlin groaned. 

Arthur couldn’t stand it much longer either. He pulled his hands away gently and Merlin moaned at the lack of touch. Before either of them could really miss the lack of contact Arthur took hold of his own neglected length and pushed slowly into his mate. The contact was blissful.  
“Yes, Arthuuurrr.”  
“Anything for you love, anything.”  
“More, please”

They were kissing again, hands groping and hips slamming. Arthur had tried to control himself, be gentle with his young love had been the plan but the smell, taste and touch of his love had driven reason away. The Alpha was in control.  
Everything escalated, grew, and multiplied until the pair was completely lost in their passion. Arthur was finally drawn back to the moment when he felt his knot catch on Merlin’s rim. It was filling with blood, and stretching Merlin. 

Then it caught. 

Merlin had been certain that there was no greater bliss than the love of his mate but orgasm blew that out of the water. It was far too much for Merlin to handle and he lost consciousness.  
Arthur was able to hold himself together but barely. He sank his teeth into the soft flesh of Merlin’s neck, leaving his permanent mark. Hi licked the blood away and sucked on the mark. He could smell himself on the omega, forever now. They were tied together for the night and for the rest of their lives. 

It was a new beginning.


	7. Chapter 7

After his heat ended Arthur vanished again. Merlin hated him for it. Sure the heat had been nice because the alpha had doted on his new mate. For three days they had stayed sequestered in their rooms. Food had been brought to them along with water and fresh blankets. Arthur hadn’t let anyone else in the room so he tended to the fire, washed Merlin and fed him. Merlin wasn’t interested in any of these things at the time. He had only wanted to be close to his new mate. As close as physically possible. Naturally, Arthur had wanted that also but he also knew that he had to take care of the aching Omega. 

Then once the heat had ended Arthur had gone back to his princely duties. He had expressed guilt at abandoning his men for a few days as well as not doing prince things. He scampered off as soon as he was sure that Merlin was going to be ok to fend for himself. Of course, Merlin wasn’t really that able to fend for himself before but hell, he was on his own once again. 

But now he was mated. He was forever bound to Prince Arthur and nobody could change that. Probably. This likely fact gave him confidence. At the very least he belonged to Arthur and nobody dared defy Arthur. The first place he wandered to was the library. He had found solace here before and he hoped to find it again. Thankfully that venture was successful. Acheflow had returned on occasion to help continue Merlin’s practice with reading and Merlin found himself more engaged. 

Even when his Omega friend wasn’t there to read with him there was another someone always to be found in the library. Her name was Freya and she was a young woman of minimal nobility who had been apprenticed to the royal historian. She worked in the library helping anyone who wanted to find something. She noticed Merlin wandering the shelves and working his letters with Acheflow.  
“Are you looking for something?” She startled him one day. “I could help you find something.”  
“Um…” She was the first person to speak to him without having been asked a direct question. It was odd to suddenly have someone approach him. “I don’t know… I am just looking I guess.”  
“Oh, I hope you don’t mind, but I heard you and Lord Acheflow reading the other day. I believe you are making progress but I know he can be busy. If you would like more help I would happy to assist?”  
“Oh…well…I suppose…I am not in much hurry really….I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”  
“No trouble, My Lord. I have plenty of time here, not many lords really spend that much time studying history when they can get the royal historian to do it for them.”  
“Well, I guess I could use some help… Don’t let me take time from your duties, though.”  
“No problem at all My Lord.”

And that is how Merlin made his first friend in all of Camelot. 

They did spend quite a bit of time together after that. Freya was kind and really did have plenty of free time. She was of noble blood but her family had lost their money and she had no dowry. Rather than join the church her father had found a place for her in the library before he died. The royal historian had been a friend of the family and took her under his wing.   
She was kind to Merlin and clearly bored. Her mind was well trained and she read faster than Merlin thought was possible. All the while she patiently helped him practice reading. With a few days of solid reading under his belt, Merlin found that he enjoyed the act of reading. It gave him an escape into a world beyond his own with vast experiences that he would never be allowed. He was forever trapped in this castle so he might as well learn something that will give him a glimpse of the outside world. 

Months passed and winter came to a peak. The halls of the stone castle were freezing and people gathered around the fires in the rooms to keep warm. The first storm had brought the most snow but the cold that followed was brutal. Merlin found himself bundled up on furs and coats just to keep from shivering. For a few days he didn’t leave his rooms to brave the cold of the halls. But there was something about the rooms that got under his skin. There was just something wrong.   
What the hell, he figured, I belong to the prince and he seems to do what he wants. So he gathered up some pillows and blankets and carried them to the library. Freya was busy that day so Merlin curled up in a corner near a fire and read alone. It was a nice surprise to fall asleep for a few hours. Sleep had been evading him lately but here in the library was quiet, calm and smelt of old books.   
When the sun began to set, Merlin hated the thought of returning to his rooms with Arthur. Instead, he looked around the room. It was a side nook off the library with movable shelves and a fireplace. It was away from the door so not many people came in this far.   
It was by pure luck that Merlin noticed that there was a little nook behind one of the shelves. You couldn’t see it unless you were near the floor but there it was. He rose and looked about but the library was deserted. Merlin pushed the bookcase to the side and out from the wall to find a small space that was warm and inviting.   
Without much thought Merlin moved the bookcase so it was less noticeably moved and pushed his mound of soft things into the niche. It was surprisingly warm in the little space and rather soft. Once Merlin had established his little set up he knew he wasn’t going back to his rooms. The nest was far too inviting to leave and he could sense sleep closing in on him.   
Arthur had slept in their rooms last night and he never slept in their rooms two nights in a row. Therefore, Merlin knew that he wouldn’t be missed. All of this gave him a sense of calm and he drifted off into best sleep he had since he had left his mother.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's heat is over and the rest of their lives begins

The nook was colder in the morning, but under his heaps of blankets, Merlin stayed warm. Of course this just made it more difficult to pry himself out of the nest and back to his room. He needed fresh clothes, food and something to drink. He just left the blankets, thinking he would send someone for them later. He didn’t really want to be seen carrying blankets around the morning.   
The royal chambers were warm with a fresh fire and bedclothes and new clothes for Merlin. He wondered briefly if he had been badly missed but doubted it. With a sigh he changed and tried to figure out how he was going to occupy himself for another day.

 

Arthur woke up with a kink in his neck. He had fallen asleep at his desk in the war room again. Honestly he hated being here so late but Uther was demanding when he was present and then left plenty of works for Arthur in his absence. The many bouts of drunken disappearances that plagued Uther’s reign took their toll so Arthur was practically king more often than not.   
The prince pried himself off the desk, out of the chair and to his chambers. He would need fresh clothes before another meeting with his father’s council. He needed to maintain a good image with them since many would be on his council.   
The room was empty with the bed made when Arthur arrived. Merlin must have gone out but what could he be up to so early in the morning? Arthur would have to make note to ask around. He wouldn’t have Merlin getting into trouble.   
By the peak of the afternoon, Arthur was working out his frustration with politics by beating on a young squire’s shield. The young thing had disrespected him so Arthur thought it best to prove just how strong he was. And not many knights would challenge Arthur openly and the little boy stood no chance but being able to assert his authority was satisfying.  
He had missed being out on the practice fields with his knights during Merlin’s heat. Sure he had loved pampering and loving his new mate but had missed the routine of seeing his friends and working his muscles. Leon was gone now that Acheflow had gone into heat. A few days of absence was normal. All Alphas took time to care for their mates, but Arthur wanted to be better than that. He was their leader, so he had to set the best example he could, including not slacking off even if his mate provided a good excuse.   
The field was where he felt at home. With his men. Not the stuffy war room with the diplomats.  
Once all the soldiers were exhausted they bathed quickly in the men’s bathhouse and went for the evening meal. Arthur preferred to eat with his men. It was good to be close to them and they didn’t force him to be on his most polite behavior. When Lance left to go eat with Gwen, Arthur wondered briefly where Merlin ate. And when? Perhaps that was something else he should check on. It got put at the end of his long list of things to do. 

 

The second time Merlin slept in the library was only three days later when Arthur had mentioned that he was going riding with some knights to scout a village. They would be gone for three days. Merlin just nodded- not like anything he said was going to make a difference. But spending the night in his nook sounded wonderful. Merlin took blankets and pillows with him again that night, unsure if anyone would have noticed and cleaned out the previous bedding. However, Merlin’s hiding place remained undisturbed, but additional blankets and cushions only made the alcove more comfortable and cozy.  
He spent al three nights tucked away and all three days in the library with Freya. Nothing exciting happened.   
On the third day Merlin finally worked up the courage to talk about his predicament. “If find myself at a loss at how to occupy my time.” He confided in Freya. “It is as if I am meant to sit in a room and do nothing all day but I wasn’t raised to sit idle. There was always something to be done and now I am useless. I just wish I could be helpful somehow.”  
“Well….I know plenty of the other staff. Someone might be willing to let you help with the small stuff….they might not like the idea since you are the Prince’s mate….I will ask around.”  
“Really? Could you? So long as it wouldn’t be much trouble. I would love someone to help.”  
His excitement brought a smile to her face. “Sure I will. I’ll let you know.”  
It was only the next day she returned with results. “Cook will let you help so long as it is only with small things. She is always complaining about being short staffed.” So that afternoon Freya took Merlin down to the kitchens. To him it looked like chaos but the cook looked like she meant business.   
“This ‘im?”  
“Yup.” Freya presented Merlin like a treasure, pushing him in front of her and making the Omega blush.   
“Well I got soup that need stirring.” Cool gestured to a massive pot sitting on a fire that was being stirred by a bored looking woman.   
“I can do that.” Merlin offered. He was certainly capable of stirring a soup.  
“Well have at it.” The woman relieved of her task bustled off and Merlin was left to it. Sure the work was dull but he could watch and try to decipher the chaos of the kitchen and actually contribute. He could do something with himself here  
After three days of working in the kitchen (stirring soup) he was given the task of pealing potatoes. The cook quickly took to him so the others followed suit. There wasn’t much time for chit chat but they would smile at him and speak to him when the work allowed He still spent time in the library but much of his days were soon devoted to the kitchen work. It was nice to be able to contribute, give to others in the community. He wasn’t some kind of mooching slug.  
He still didn’t see Arthur much, especially since their Prince didn’t send many nights in their rooms between all of his duties. Whenever Merlin would, he should sneak away and sit and sleep in his nest. It was more like home than the massive room he shared with his distant mate.  
If anybody noticed they didn’t mention it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... I have this problem with not finishing things...especially creative things....
> 
> I am working on this- I promise- just hang with me here while I get it done as fast as I can
> 
> Thanks for reading and following and kudos and all that love because that is what I suspect is going to get me to finish this


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know many of you saw this coming but the potential puppy would catch Merlin by surprise :)

Arthur was furious at his father. The older man had stumbled into a war council, so intoxicated that he had been unable to form a coherent sentence, let alone lead a debate. However, he had refused to be escorted from the room. Arthur had done everything to try and tactfully get his father to retire and leave the council in Arthur’s hands but the old man had shouted, then thrown things and then demanded more wine be brought to him.   
Even thought the members of the council were the ‘trusted’ advisors, Arthur had never been so humiliated to be related to his own father. They had tried to have a productive meeting but it ended up with Uther shouting a lot, others trying to explain their plans to a drunk and Arthur trying to keep everything civil.   
Because nothing got done until Uther had called the meeting to an end and retired, the meeting went on twice as long as intended. They were up until the middle of the night working and Arthur stayed later. He had to get more done than any other and he had to set a good standard for all of the other members. When Uther had been younger he had instilled many themes of leadership in Arthur. The first had been lead by example. Arthur was determined to set the best example for the council meetings, the knights and all citizens of Camelot.  
But that meant no sleep for Arthur.

Merlin, meanwhile, was having the best time he had so far at Camelot. Suddenly he had friends other than his mother and other tortured Omegas. With Freya in the library (his new favorite place) and the many new friends in the kitchens (especially cook who loved to dote on him) he found plenty of ways to occupy his time. He still slept in the library as many times as he could. There were even a few times when Arthur had slept in their bed while Merlin had been missing and never mentioned it to the Omega. As far as Merlin could tell, nobody cared what he did or whom he did it with. He belonged to the prince anyway….  
Of course, in Merlin’s experience, nothing that good could last.   
About two months after his heat, Merlin woke up and immediately ran to the privy to empty his stomach. He had been more lethargic for the last few days and with this he determined that he was ill. Maybe he would have someone send up some books from the library (his reading was getting rather good now) so that he could stay in bed. He was the prince’s Omega, there were all kinds of people who seemed excited to take care of him. Elizabeth bussled into the chambers, same as every morning (she had gotten much kinder as word got around that Merlin helped in the kitchens) and was more than pleased to get Merlin anything he needed. She had another servant bring some books and another some food.   
Merlin had not anticipated that she would also summon Gaius. 

Merlin was cuddled into his bed (he didn’t really feel all that bad once his had thrown up. The food hadn’t really appealed but the lethargy remained and he figured a day in bed couldn't hurt) when Gaius shuffled in.   
“Looks like you are feeling better, Merlin,” the physician noted.   
“I never really felt that bad Gaius. I am sorry that you came all the way up here. I just need some rest and a day in bed sounds nice. I thought about taking a nap in a bit.”  
“Well, I’m glad to hear that but I would like to check you out just in case. I would hate for something serious to be wrong and us not discover it until later.”  
Merlin sighed. “Fine, but I don’t think anything will be wrong. Maybe I just ate something strange.”  
Merlin scooted to the edge of the bed so Gaius could feel his neck, shoulder and pulse. It was calming and Merlin almost dozed off half way through. Gaius had a few questions but just as Merlin suspected Gaius concluded that Merlin would be fine after some rest.   
“And you haven’t been wanting and particular foods?”  
“No, sir. I am happy with what they give me. I am eating better now than I ever have in my life!”  
“Good…Good…” but the old man seemed distracted.   
“Well I will leave you to your rest. Take the next few days easy my boy. I am glad to hear that you are making friends around the castle…but be careful. There might be some people who won’t like you making friends with the working people of this castle.”  
“I don’t think anyone cares, Gaius. Nobody has even noticed that I exist.”  
Gaius just sent a gentle smile and shuffled out of the room. 

Merlin spent the rest of the day in bed. And the next day. Arthur came in one night to sleep but he was gone before Merlin woke in the morning. The third day, Merlin felt an itch to get out of the room. First he went to the library but when Freya was busy he climbed into his little nook and rested. He shouldn’t need the rest since he had spend the two previous days in bed but the nest of blankest was so warm and comforting he couldn’t help but rest. He didn’t even notice when he fell asleep and didn’t move until the next morning. There was something about his secret place that gave Merlin much more restful sleep than the rooms of his mate.   
The nausea was back. While Merlin managed to avoid losing any food, he was concerned. Except for the nausea, there wasn’t much to make him worried about his health. He felt fine. When he went in search of food in the kitchens there was a commotion. Since the breakfast hour was over, there was a lull in work to be done and plenty of the staff had gathered in the center of the room to fawn over a heavily pregnant woman. She was an Omega, and Merlin had not seen her around the kitchens before. As it turned out, she was usually working in the kitchens but since her pregnancy had developed into its later stages, she was allowed to rest and not work. She had taken the day to come back and visit her friends and talk about her life outside of the kitchens.   
Merlin hung back. He didn’t know the woman and didn’t feel energetic enough to go investigate. However, he could hear them talking and one younger Omega was eagerly asking questions.   
“How did you find out? My mate and I are trying to get a pup and I can’t wait!”  
“Well, it started several weeks after my heat was over. I was really moody and then I was getting sick once per day. It was like clockwork. I would eat lunch, then two hours later I would lose it. It didn’t matter what I ate, or if I didn’t eat very much. Then I was really tired all of the time but I wasn’t feeling bad, just tired.”  
“Oh, well I don’t have any of that? Does it last through the entire pregnancy?”  
“Oh no, just a few weeks. Right now all I have to worry me is aching back and swollen ankles…”

The group giggled and continued to talk about various things, but Merlin had stopped paying attention.  
That sounded exactly like how he felt. Exactly. He quickly thought back to his heat. I was really only two months ago…  
Could he have a pup? He gently pressed a hand to his abdomen but then stopped himself. If he was, he didn’t want anyone to know. The idea scared him to his core, but he couldn’t trust any of these new friends with the information. What would they do or say if he was carrying the heir to their country? He tried to stay calm and walked out of the kitchen. Puking seemed like a real possibility now but it was more from fear than the nausea that had bothered him earlier. 

But he couldn't really deny it any more. As far as he could tell, he had a pup on its way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, here is my sporadic addition to the story :) I hope you enjoy and continue to stick with me. I do like this story but I write it in such short bursts that I have no idea how consistent it is. I will probably go back after I finish and build in some continuity of style....but bear with me for the time being.
> 
> Love you all!!


	10. Chapter 10

Thank the heavens that cook was ready to keep Merlin busy and his mind off the puppy. First he was slicing strawberries (harder than he would have thought) and stirring soup (the most common task they assigned him) before washing some dishes (they didn’t like him doing this but the warm water and soap made him happy.) While he was getting rather close with some of the Omegas working the kitchens, he spent three days in almost complete silence so that he didn’t accidently say something about the pup that was always on his mind. He wasn’t really showing, and the morning sickness had gone away rather quickly even if the exhaustion hadn’t. But that just meant he spent more time in his nest (since he could clearly see it was a nest he had made on the instinct of raising pups) and took plenty of naps. The work in the kitchens was satisfying and he was never required to eat anywhere else so soon he took all of his meals with the kitchen staff.   
That was until he was told by Elizabeth (Arthur had been gone again) that his presence would be required at an official dinner. She quizzed him that morning on basic table manners (there turned out to be way more than necessary and Merlin was certain he would not remember them all.)  
“Why didn’t anyone teach me this sooner?” He groused quietly.   
Elizabeth smirked. “Well I had expected Arthur to be teaching you something about something, but that boy has turned out to be rather useless, no?”  
It turned out that Elizabeth had a developed a bit of a soft spot for Merlin since she had noticed Arthur’s regular absences (aka. Immediately after Merlin’s heat ended) and had always made sure to do what Merlin needed or what he asked. He adored her for it but she could be overbearing and nosy. She was also a little to interested in nobles, while Merlin preferred the company of the staff who were more focused on their own roles.   
So now Merlin was paying the price for trying to ignore his status and was sure he would be looking like a fool at the upcoming banquet.   
“Stop fretting love, they will all be there to see the king and be seen. If you keep your head down, nobody will notice ya.”  
Merlin hoped so.

Arthur got out of the bath and into his fine clothes for the banquet while Elizabeth was helping Merlin with his. She was tying the laces up the back of Merlin’s tunic. Merlin’s clothes were much more elaborate and feminine since he was and Omega while Arthurs were just a tunic made of fine cloth and some embroidery. The Alpha couldn’t help but pause to admire his mate and all his beauty. He could swear that the Omega was glowing, but it was probably just that Arthur had found the perfect mate. Once Merlin was ready, Arthur pulled him close and nuzzled the Omega. Merlin didn’t move closer or further from his mate but let the other man touch and scent him. They hadn’t had this much contact since his heat. Arthur sighed.  
“Lets go, Merlin. Can’t afford to be late.” It was an attempt at humor and Merlin forced a smile. Arthur offered Merlin his arm and they meandered down to the main banquet hall. Merlin didn't care for the massive room. It was already full of people, dressed finely and stiff, and all of their eyes found the couple as they approached the head table. Uther wasn’t present yet but nobody seemed to notice or care. Merlin was determined to take Elizabeth’s advice and keep his head down as much as possible. 

Merlin was exhausted by the time the meal was over. People had been staring at him all evening. Only when they weren’t staring at Uther. The king was drunk before he walked in the door. He continued to imbibe through the several course meal and became increasingly loud and rude through the entire ceremony. Merlin hadn’t made any huge errors but seeing as the King was belching and hollering eating with the wrong fork wasn’t a great faux pas. Arthur had stripped his clothes and collapsed into bed.  
“Thank heavens, father doesn’t have formal meals often. I couldn't take much of that.”  
Merlin hummed in agreement. He was about to ask Arthur to help him removed his clothes, when Elizabeth returned and saved him the embarrassment. She worked efficiently and left them. Merlin climbed into his side of the bed and closed his eyes. Arthur grabbed him by the waist and pulled them close together. With another sigh Arthur settled in to sleep. They hadn’t gone to sleep at the same time since the heat, and now Merlin didn’t know what to do. He was huddled close to his mate who didn’t seem interested in him any other time. Alphas were beyond Merlin’s understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for being patient with me and this story. There are plenty of things happening in my head and the next bits are on the way but life gets in the way. I promise I have not abandoned you all and will continue with this story! :)


	11. Chapter 11

Merlin managed to fall back into his routine. He loved the small freedoms he carved for himself. Learning to read was a frustrating pleasure and work in the kitchen was satisfying. The palace could some day be what he considered a home, even if his Alpha was confusing. After the meal they were back to missing each other. Ships passing in the night. Merlin was increasingly tired and lethargic but a nap in his nest was rejuvenating. Of course these small pleasures were not to be his for long.

One evening, Merlin was happily pealing potatoes for the evening meal. Quietly listening to the gossip passed around, he based in the feeling of being a part of the community. He could be home here. But his moment of bliss was shattered by the entrance of the king.  
It was a rare day when the king himself came to any of the servants’ quarters or work rooms. He much preferred to leave management of the household to the head of servants. However, when the king had imbibed greatly there was almost nothing he wouldn’t do.   
Now he stumbled into the kitchen, causing all of the staff to jump to attention. They would bow or curtsey as he stumbled by. “Sire, is there anything I can do for ya?” The head cook was the only one with the position to address the king directly.   
“Cook!” The king shouted while staggering closer, “I must speak to you about the excellence of last feast! But what are you doing in my study?”  
“This is the kitchen, sire.”  
“How the hell did that manage?”  
“I don’t know sire, shall I have someone aid you back to your study?”  
“I don’t need help woman!”  
“Of course not, sire”

Merlin had stood when the king entered and had slowly inched behind a large table covered in food. Unfortunately, he was covered in potato skins and some flower he had bumped into earlier. With his luck, even a very inebriated king spotted to Omega in the corner.   
“What the bloody hell?” he roared, “You, Omega, What are you doing here covered in shit?”  
The angered Alpha stormed over and shoved at Merlin. Fortunately his drunkenness prevented his push from not feeling well but it did manage to knock Merlin over (he was especially prone to trip lately) and smack his head soundly on the stone hearth.  
“How dare my son’s Omega be working here like a servant? Who had you do this? Did Arthur permit this? Did the Cook make you?” Uther swayed around to face the cook. “You have no right, woman!”  
Merlin managed to lean up on one elbow, even though the world spun, “I came to her.” He did not want to cross the king, but he would not let his friends to take the fall for something that wasn’t their fault. “I cam and asked to help. On my own.” He tried to sound confident but it was tricky from laying on the floor.   
The drunken king stumbled back around. “How dare you overstep you rounds Omega. You may be my son’s mate but that doesn’t give you the right to shame him! This is all below you. This is why I wanted Arthur to choose someone with good breeding. Then we wouldn’t be having this problem.” He stumbled closer and put a hand out to steady himself on the table next to where Merlin fell. He lashed out with his foot at prone Omega and caught him in the stomach.   
The first blow hurt, but the strikes kept coming and Merlin’s body began to throb all over. All the while, Uther shouted demeaning slurred phrases.   
“How dare some filth like you think you are good enough for my son.”  
“You aren’t worthy of him.”  
“I hope I never live to see you bear an heir.”  
“Your filth will destroy our bloodline.”  
He didn’t know how long the abuse continued. While Uther was intoxicated, he was still an Alpha and the kicks landed hard. The final strike was the hardest and landed directly on Merlin’s midsection.  
Then Uther staggered away panting and silence filled the room. “Someone take this Omega trash to Arthur’s rooms. I hate to see him doing anything so undignified again.”  
Nobody moved until the king had attempted to stomp but actually shuffled out of the room.

The sound of the kitchen door slamming was how Merlin knew his abuse was finished for the moment. He hurt everywhere but especially his chis, back and stomach that had taken the brunt of the attack. He pulled himself to his feet with the help of the table. The staff remained alert against the walls while the Omega struggled to his feet. Finally, Cook stepped forward to lend Merlin a hand but the Omega brushed it off. He clearly wasn’t allowed to have friends here so he couldn’t bring himself to look at any of them again. He was proud enough to get himself out and if he didn’t have any friends here then he didn’t need help anyway.  
He hauled himself out of the kitchen, head held as high as he could stand. But he wasn’t going to ‘Arthur’s rooms.’ He was going to his nest. Merlin didn’t remember seeing anyone as he stumbled his way to the library or as he crept into the quite halls. The nest was cozy and warm. A safe haven that somewhat managed to sooth his aches and he let himself drift off and not think about this new turn of events. 

Leon came into the war room and sat in the empty chair next to Arthur.  
“Have you been back to your rooms lately?”  
The strange question caught Arthur’s attention. Sure, Leon often asked if he had eaten or slept but not really anything about where or when he did those things. Leon knew Arthur didn’t spend any time there unless he was asleep.  
“No, why the sudden interest in by bedroom, Leon?”  
“Well some nasty rumors have been going around in the last few hours.”  
“About my rooms?”  
“About your Omega, Arthur. Uther found him helping in the kitchens and was not happy about it.”  
“What the hell were either of them doing in the kitchens?”  
“Turns out Merlin has been spending time helping work in the kitchens. And I don’t know why Uther does anything.”  
“Why would Merlin work in the kitchens? He is my mate, he doesn’t have to work.”  
“He’s your Omega…ask him if you don’t know. But you may want to go check on him. At least his pride is bruised.”  
“I suppose I could go take a break.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bam and Bam- two chapters ready to go (I have had plenty of spare time at work when I have been able to write my rough drafts and then share them with you) One more is on the way but we will see if I can get it done just as quickly :)

Freya was carrying a stack of books back to the shelves; an ordinary activity, until she heard a moan. It came from a shadow behind an older bookshelf that was shuffling and moaning. She set down her books and got on her knees and crawled closer. Merlin’s face appeared in the shadow, eyes closed but clearly in pain.  
“Merlin? What are you doing back here?”  
When he didn’t respond, she reached in to try and get his attention. After her touch, he flinched away and moaned again.  
“Merlin? Do you need me to fetch you something? Perhaps I should call master Gaius?” His silence made the decision for her. She scampered to the front of the library and found a palace guard.   
“Quick, I need you to fetch master Gaius and bring him here immediately, its an emergency!” Thankfully, he took her panic seriously and he scampered away in the direction of the physician’s rooms. She darted back to the Omega and hoped that help would arrive soon. 

Gaius had been surprised to be summoned so urgently and without notice. Even though the guard had no real information but Freya was usually level headed and he also seemed shaken. Grabbing his emergency bag and his assistant before dashing to the library.  
He found Freya tucked in a back corner of the library talking frantically into a shadow. Gaius could tell from one look at Merlin and tell that something was very wrong.  
“Get him out of there.” Gaius began barking orders. He turned to the guard. “Remove everyone from the library and then don’t let anyone else in.”  
“Yes, sir.” And he ran away. The smell of hurt Omega was rather disconcerting to most. Gaius and Freya pulled Merlin as gently as possible from the niche. It was best to just pull the nest bedding with him. Freya gasped when they got Merlin full out and everything was soaked in blood. (The smell had likely not been pleasant before the incident but the smell of blood and fear made it all more potent.) Merlin was not happy that the nest was being disturbed but he was also hurting too much put up much of a fight. He just moaned and tried to roll deeper into the nest bedding. Of course this was painful and induced more agonized moans.  
“Freya, go fetch some hot water.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
Gaius and his assistant started to gory task of pulling a bloody Merlin away from the nest. Of course Gaius knew what a nest was as soon as he spotted Merlin tucked in the corner. They were going to be in for a long night.

Arthur found his rooms to be empty and apparently untouched for some time. Maybe Leon’s information was bad. Servants were known to gossip, perhaps never this boldly, but he had heard some strange tales from their ranks. It seamed crazy that any of them would say something so crazy as the king abusing the crown prince’s Omega. Still… Leon had mentioned before that Merlin liked to spend time in the library so it was worth looking down there to see if his Omega was indeed alright.  
The closer he got to the library the more frantic people seemed to be. At some point, Geoffry, the librarian who rarely left his post stormed by with an assistant in tow carrying a full armload of books and scrolls. That was certainly strange, and while people did give him his due in bows and curtsey’s they were also full of whispers and sideways looks. By the time Arthur reached the library he found himself faced with a lowly palace guard. The young man stood firmly in front of the main doors.   
“What is going on in here, soldier.”  
“There was an emergency, sire. Gaius has said that nobody was to enter the library without his approval.”  
“I would like to speak with him.” The guard left another lowly guard at the door with Arthur and disappeared into the library. A few moments later, he reemerged and was clearly nervous. “Healer Gaius, said that nobody, including you, sire, is to enter the library until his has the situation under control and fully assessed.” The guard seemed nervous to deny the prince entry but Arthur knew that he had to trust the healer’s knowledge and experience.  
“Can I get any details? Who is hurt? What is the matter?”  
“I have been told that no information is to be given, sire. Should anything change I can have someone alert you…”  
“Do that. Have you seen Merlin about here when they were clearing out the library?”  
“No, sire. Perhaps he is in your rooms?”  
“No. If you find him, send him to me in the war rooms…actually I will be in my rooms. Send him there. I want to be sure he is safe.”  
“Yes, sire.”

Arthur turned and stomped back to his rooms. Once he got there, he realized it was just how empty the rooms were when Merlin was gone. He loved the extra presence that Merlin brought to the space. 

Arthur was working diligently at the desk in his rooms when the door opened and Gaius shuffled through. Arthur was about to complain at the told man for not waiting to be welcomed into the room. However, when he spotted Merlin being carried in on a stretcher behind the healer, the prince ran to his mate’s side.  
“Gaius! Why was I not immediately called? I should be told immediately when something happens to my mate!”  
“He needed a healer at the time, sire, not a mate. Now he shall very much need you.”  
“What happened to him?” Arthur was fussing over Merlin as they arranged the Omega in the bed.  
“I will be discussing it with both of you when he wakes. I do have something to discuss with you in the meantime, sire.”  
“Why refuse to tell me what is wrong with my mate?! I need to know!!”  
“I shall tell you but you need to deal with his pain together. I gave him something to rest and sleep through some of the pain. Lets sit in the next room and talk, sire.”  
“I’m not leaving him.” An Arthur made himself comfortable sitting on the bed at Merlin’s side.  
“Very well, sire.” Gaius pulled the desk chair out to face the prince. “I have heard several things about your relationship with your Omega.”  
“Servants are prone to gossip, Gaius. You know they spread rumors to entertain each other. You should know better than to pay them mind.”  
“Perhaps, but I have found that some rumors come from shreds of truth. In this case, I am inclined to believe them.”  
“So, what do the servants have to say?”  
“That you do not spend much time with this new mate of yours. Some accuse of being outright neglectful.”  
“Psh, I am the prince, I can’t spend all of my time lounging about. I have other duties as well but I would never neglect my mate.”  
“I do not believe you would ever intentionally harm Merlin, Arthur. However, something has clearly happened and you seem painfully ignorant of it.”  
“Are you accusing me of something, Gaius?” The Prince’s tone was dangerously cold.  
“No, sire. I shall only say that you should consider spending less time with your duties to your country and more with your duty to your mate.”  
“Please, Gaius. Do not speak in riddles. Tell me what I need to know. What happened to him?”  
Gaius sighed, “I have it on good authority that Merlin has been spending time working in the kitchens.”  
“What?!” Arthur almost leapt from the bed in surprise. “Why would he have any reason to visit the kitchens, let alone work there?”  
“Sire, this I what I mean. You need to take more time to get to know your mate. I suspect if he was working, he felt not all of his needs were being met.”  
“He is as good as a prince. He should never have to work again.”  
“And how would you respond should I say that to you, sire? In facet, I believe I have told you not to work at times when your health was poor and you found things to do anyway.”  
“But he is an Omega. I wouldn’t burden him with anything.”  
“Sire, I heard about the conditions you found him in and I know that a little work isn’t going to break him. In fact, he is much stronger than you give him credit for, Omega or not.”  
“Other noble Omegas don't work, Gaius. I would make him an outcast.”  
“He is already an outcast, sire. Your father made sure of that. Why would he seek company of servants otherwise? It is not like the other Omega’s are idle. They just have work that is less obvious. I should have explained this to you sooner. I know you haven’t had an Omega close to you since your mother died all those years ago. You haven’t been shown what it means to have an Omega mate.”  
“What should I do, Gaius?” During Gaius’ speech, all the confidence had melted from the Alpha. He had slouched in his place by his mate, brushing stray hairs from Merlin’s face. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I swore I wouldn’t let him be hurt again but now I am the cause of his pain.”  
“From what I have gathered, sire, you have found yourself an extraordinary mate here. When he wakes, I suggest you talk to him and find out from him what would make him happy. I would bet he would surprise you. Spending more time with him probably wouldn’t hurt either.”  
“Thank you, Gaius.”  
“Any time, sire.”  
“And you will tell me what is wrong with him?”  
“If he permits me, sire. I suspect he will.”  
“Do you think I can make him happy?”  
“Without a doubt, sire.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beauties!! Thank you so much for all of your love and attention and comments! I know that you have been very patient with me and I appreciate it. I hope this is good- and I do promise there is more coming. I am working on this slow and steady. Your kudos and comments always make my day!!
> 
> THANK YOU my wonderful readers!

Merlin woke to the sound of gentle voices drifting through a cracked door. They were muffled, so he couldn’t make out any words, but he knew the golden voice of his mate and the old grumble of Gaius. The sun had set and a small fire kept any chill out of the room. Merlin enjoyed the peace for a moment before trying to roll over. He moved to quickly (having forgotten his injuries) and a loud moan burst from his lips. This caused a quiet scooting of chairs and a concerned pair bustling into the room.  
Gaius appeared with his usual shuffle but Arthur moved to Merlin’s side with concerned haste.   
“How are you feeling, Merlin…? Does anything hurt?” Arthur began a bombardment of questions. “Would you like a drink? To sit up?”  
“Calm down, Arthur,” Gaius scolded. “He will be fine. Fetch some water, good lad.” The Alpha inched out of the room as if afraid something would happen the moment he left.  
Gaius got Merlin sitting up and pulled away the shirt that covered the Omega. “Well, these do look nasty but you should make a fully recovery.” Gaius glanced over his shoulder to make sure Arthur was all the way gone. “He has been quite concerned, your mate.”  
“Did you tell him?” Merlin whispered.  
“Not, you asked me not to. However, I suggest that he learn the truth.”  
“Why, he will only hate me for it.”  
“Did I not just tell you that he has been very concerned about you? He has not left these rooms until just now. Perhaps he needs a chance to earn your trust. He doesn’t have many good role models to learn from.”  
“Ok, ok, Gaius, but would….would you tell him?” Merlin wouldn’t even look at the healer. Gaius knew that there would be some hard days ahead for the man.   
“I will, Merlin. I also want you to know that what happened was not your fault. He won’t blame you.”  
“If you say so.”

When Arthur returned, it occurred to Merlin that he had never seen the Alpha fetch anything. Ever. Well there is a first time for everything. “I brought you some fresh water, Merlin. Is that right, Gaius?” The prince’s almost seemed unsure, surprising his mate. Merlin couldn’t remember Arthur ever really being unsure. But now his confident Alpha was timid and hesitant.   
“Water is fine, Arthur. He will need some but perhaps we best talk first?”  
The prince noticed the grace faces of the Omega and healer and sat down on the foot of Merlin’s bed. The pitcher of water sat loosely in his lap. Gaius took it from his hands and sat down across from them.   
“As we discussed before, Arthur, we can now talk about Merlin’s health concerns.”  
“Gaius” Arthur eyed his mate, “should we wait until Merlin has had some time to recover?”  
“We need to have this conversation to that you both will have time to recover.”  
Arthur paled but nodded to the healer to continue.  
“What has happened here is most tragic. I am afraid that Merlin’s trauma has caused him to lose his pup.”  
“What?”  
Merlin couldn’t look up from his clenched hands in his lap. He couldn't bear to see the hurt and failure in his Alpha’s face.  
“Merlin was pupped, and his injuries have caused him to lose the pup.”  
Tears gathered in merlin’s eyes.  
“How can this be?” Arthur whispered, “I would know if Merlin was pupped!”  
“It is now always so obvious, sire.”  
“But he would be nesting, and sleeping much more. I don’t see a nest!”  
“Sire, Merlin built his nest in the library, in a nook behind a bookshelf.”  
“What.”  
Merlin felt the tears of shame overflow and drip down his face onto his lap. The anger in his Alpha’s voice was clear.   
“Merlin was found in his nest, sire. It was well hidden.”  
“Is this what you meant before, Gaius, about me not being around enough, about not doing my duty to my mate?”   
“In some ways. I also want you to know that Merlin took quite a beating and will need some rest and realization for some time. I will be keeping an eye on him but you should do so as well, sire.”  
“What about pups?”  
“There should be no lasting damage. He should be fine and have another heat regularly.”  
“Good, thank you Gaius.”  
The dismissal sounded harsh in Merlin’s ears and he shuffled out of the room. There was no controlling the silent tears that poured down his face. He wanted nothing more than to melt away into the bed and disappear. He hated his own pain and loss but he equally hated the shame he felt at failing his Alpha. He never wanted to have an Alpha to hold this sway over him but now he had a mate that mate could cause him such great shame.   
Arthur sighed heavily and stood from the bed. He took two careful steps away before rushing back to Merlin’s side.   
“Oh love,” Arthur sighed and the Alpha reached out to touch the clenched hands of his mate. “Merlin, love, it is going to be ok.”  
All Merlin could do was pull back his hands and vigorously shake his head.  
“I am going to make everything, alright Merlin. Tell me who did this to you, who did this to us. They will be punished, I assure you.”  
Arthur reached out to grab Merlin’s hands again but the Omega pulled away, tucking his hands under the blanket.  
“Talk to me, Merlin. Tell me how to fix this and make it better. We will punish them and we will have pups later and it will all turn out better.”  
“No!” Merlin shouted. “No, things will not be better, there will be no punishment, nothing will happen and nothing will change so don’t pretend that it will.” He had intended the words to come out strong and forceful and angry but he knew they had come spilling out teary and wet.   
“Merlin, I am a prince and I will make this fine. Trust me.”  
“Arthur. Stop trying to fix this, please. I am getting some rest, like Gaius said.” And Merlin laid down turned away from his mate so he could cry in peace.

Arthur spent the next two days between his chambers and the war room. He tended to his mate in the former and worked/ slept in the later. Most everyone avoided him. Finally Leon cornered him in the war room after a meeting.  
“I heard about Merlin, Arthur. I’m so sorry that happened. Have you caught the man who did it to him?”  
“No, and Merlin is determined to reveal nothing. He seems dedicated to defending his attacker. I just don’t get it.”  
“Give him time, Arthur.”  
“Time just means his attacker goes free.”  
“Time gives him healing, Arthur. He needs healing right now, not more pressure. He needs you to give him what he needs.”  
“I don’t know what he needs.”  
“Ask him.”  
“He wont look at me, Leon. How can he tell me what he needs if he won’t even look at me?”  
“I bet he will surprise you.”

Arthur opened the door to his chambers hearing soft voices and laughter within. Gaius had begun sitting within Merlin to ‘keep and eye’ on him but Arthur felt that it was more than that. Gaius was comfort where Arthur was not.  
The voices cut off when he entered the room and Gaius turned to look at him with stern eyes while Merlin’s eyes fell to the comforter. It made Arthur’s gut twist.   
“I hate to interrupt, but I had hoped to speak with merlin.”  
“You aren’t interrupting, sire. I have work to do but I will return.”  
Once Gaius left the room, Arthur moved slowly to the foot of the bed.  
“Merlin.” Arthur had no idea what to say but he had to say something to get through to him. “I love you, Merlin, my mate. I love you and I want to see you happy. I want to make you happy but you have to tell me how.”  
“What if you don’t like the answer?”  
It hadn’t occurred to Arthur that he wouldn’t like the answer but he was determined to turn over a new leaf. “Then I will deal with that, but I hate seeing you hurt. I hate it more than anything you could tell me.”  
“I don’t know what I need. I don’t know what I want anymore, Arthur. Because I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I need.” A suppressed sob escaped Merlin’s lips and he hid his face in his hands.  
“That's fine, merlin. I don’t like feeling so helpless but until you have something you want me to do.”  
Merlin felt a pang of agony for his weekends. “ Could you stay with me?”  
“As long as you need me.”  
“Thanks”  
Arthur surveyed the room before walking around the bed and climbing into his side next to his mate. It wasn’t how he had planned the day but it would be beautiful. 

Merlin woke groggily before his heart jumped into his throat. He was wrapped up in the warm arms of his mate. His pulse raced and muscles tensed. He remembered Arthur climbing into bed but they just have gotten closer while they slept. He couldn’t remember the last time they had been this close and the proximity created tension in Merlin’s stomach. How long would the caring comfort last? When could Arthur disappear again?  
Seemingly sensing the tension, Arthur stirred and pulled Merlin tighter against his chest. Merlin tried to relax but he was still stiff and sore form his beating and wanted to roll over to rest some of the pressure. But Arthur’s arms were too tight. The Omega squirmed, trying to twist away, rousing the Alpha.  
“Good morning, little Omega.” The prince yawned nuzzling into Merlin’s neck.  
Merlin groaned quietly and tried to turn again. Arthur was finally awake enough to realize he was slightly crushing his mate and loosened his hold. Merlin was able to turn so he was facing Arthur with space between them.  
He could now see the concern on the Alpha’s face, “What do you need? Can I get you something?”  
Merlin just clenched his eyes shut. He hated facing his Alpha. Every second he was a reminder of what Merlin had lost.  
It was all the more brutal because Merlin had known. He had known that there was a pup. He knew he shouldn’t have been in the kitchens. Sure he would have clamed ignorance but it was obvious that royal mates never peeled potatoes.   
And now he had to face the man who had pulled him from the hell hole of an omega house and know that he had lost their pup. Before, Merlin hadn’t been excited about having the royal child but losing it was devastating. He had failed at everything.   
So all he could o to answer his mate’s kind eyes was turn away. He didn’t deserve affection or attention. The other shoe was going to drop.  
“Love,” Arthur whispered. Stroking Merlin’s face “I know you don’t want to talk about it and we don’t have to right now, but we will have to talk about this.”  
“Mmmmm…” Merlin mumbled.  
“I’m gonna’ hold you to that.”


	14. PSA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I I got your hopes up but this is just a PSA

Dear my most beautiful readers,

Thank you so much for all of your love and support in this story. I love nothing more than reading what you liked and thought about my story. I will reiterate what I have already told some of you- I AM NOT ABANDONING THIS STORY! I know that it has been a long time since another chapter has been added that some of you may have given up hope on me but I promise that there will be more until I finish this. 

I have to admit that I have never finished a story before so this will be an accomplishment for me.

I am also struggling with what I am doing next so any suggestions that you guys have or requests that would be really appreciated. Because of this struggle, I am planning on finishing the work and then posting it. That way I don't accidentally write myself into a corner. I did write the next chapter but it was so boring that I will have to rewrite it. 

Once I finish everything (IT WILL HAPPEN I SWEAR!) then I will go back and edit everything. I know that there are some errors in there and I appreciate you point them out to me as well and I am sorry if they bother you terribly. 

Once again, I have plenty of excuses and apologies but I also want to be bursting with love for you guys since I had no idea that so many people would read this and comment on it!

Love,

sarbear_hugs


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for waiting for me. I adore you all for sticking it out and waiting for my slow writing self. FYI This is fraught with errors. I didn't have it in me to edit it, so I hope that this is forgivable along with my many other writing sins.   
> There is another chapter in the works so there should be more soon.   
> My plan is to finish this work and then go back and edit things. I know that there are lots of edits to do and some continuity things since I have written this in so many small chunks.
> 
> As always you are all fabulous and I appreciate all of your comments and kudos!

Acheflow was a surprising source of information for Leon. The pair had bee getting along wonderfuly while watching Merlin and Arthur struggle through their new relationship. Archeflow loved snuggling with Leon and didn’t mind the Alpha’s long work hours. He was the ideal Omega, calm, timid, gentle and above all obedient. Having been raised in one of the country’s nicer Omega houses and was trained from a young age how to behave around nobility. He was prepared to live the life of a Omega, so different from what Merlin had experienced.

Of course being and Omega, Acheflow knew how to get the best gossip out of the working staff. And the staff was always full of stories. About a week after Merlin had dissapeared, Acheflow began to hear whispers about why the Omega was sequestered away. Of course the Omega knew that some were clearly false, like Arthur not likeing anyone setting eyes on his mate ever. Others rang more true. The rumors that Merlin had been hurt kept surfacing to the point where Acheflow decided he needed to check.   
“Leon, has anything been wrong with Merlin? I have been hearing some strange things about him.”  
Leon looked up from the book he was reading. They didn’t really keep secrets from each other and Leon had asked the Omega to help out Merlin before.   
“Well, between you and me” a stern look emphasised the point, “but Arthur has been concerned about him. Someone attacked Merlin, but nobody knows who and Merlin isn’t saying anything. The poor boy, he has had such a rough life and nothing seems to get any easier for him. What have people been saying?”  
“Well, some have said he was hurt, maybe I should go check on him.”  
“That might be good of you.” Leon smiled, “I’m glad that I have such a kind Omega at my side.” He pulled the Omega into his arms and they cuddled for the rest of the evening (books abandoned), but no ammount of cuddles or addoration could stop the flow of concern for Merlin.

The next day while Leon was working, Acheflow made a trip to take some special food to the wounded Omega. The kitchen was quiet when he entered. Staff bussled and kept their eyes averted. One staff member rushed up to the Omega. “What can we get for you, sir?” Eyes averted and tone quiet, this was not the friendly, busling kitchen staff that Acheflow had known.   
“Just some treats, please. Whatever you havae ready?” He was thrown off by the sudden change in the tone of the staff.  
“Of course, sir. Just one moment and we will have a tray prepared.”  
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”

He was ushered out of the kitchen minutes later with more food than he needed and an offer for more but only if he left quickly. Wandering toward Merlin’s rooms, he noticed the halls became more scarce closer to the royal rooms. Knocking on the door yeilded no reply for a minute before the Prince opened the door.   
“Ah, Acheflow, is it? Did you want to see Merlin?”  
The Omega stuttered, “Yes, sire, if it pleases you…” He couldn’t imagine why the prince himself was spending an afternoon locked away in his rooms but he wasn’t one who could judge the leader of the country.   
“Of course, come in. I will go speak to Merlin.”  
Walking into the front room Acheflow set his tray down on a low table in front of a dying fire. Arthur disappeared into a deeper room where he spoke softly. Merlin came out immediately, followed by the prince.   
“Acheflow, it is so nice of you to visit. How have you been?”  
“I am fine, I was wondering about you. I haven’t seen you in a while and thought that I would check in with you.” He was hesitant to say too much in front of Merlin’s Alpha.  
“Thanks, I have been alright. Arthur, do you have work to be doing?”  
Arthur looked between the two Omegas and sighed. “Sure thing, Merlin. I will be back later for supper.” And the Alpha seemed to scurry out of the room.   
There was a moment of akward silence between the Omegas. Merlin sighed and broke the moment “Sorry about Arthur. He can be a right prat and he has been hovering lately.”  
“Its fine. I know Leon is concerned for me often as well. They can be silly in their overprotectedness.”  
“Well….yah.” Merlin went to sit down near the fire and poke at the food.   
“What has happened with you lately Merlin? I haven’t seen you out and about and there are some rumors going around.”  
This semed to startle Merlin. “People are talking aout me? What are they saying?”  
“Well some of it is nonsense but others have said that you were hurt and that they didn’t get the guy who did it to you. I was worried that you might have been seriously hurt.”  
“Do you believe them?” Merlin seemed reluctant to look at the other Omega.   
“Well I didn’t really but now I am thinking that something must be wrong, Merlin. I think we are friends and I hope that you could talk to me if you needed someone. I know that there are some things that Alphas don’t get and you need to talk to another Omega.”  
Seeming to consider that Merlin sighed and began to munch on a sweet. “If I do… could you promise me that you wont tell anyone, even Leon?”  
“Of course, Merlin. Iwouldn’t break your confidense. Is there something?”  
With eyes averted, Merlin munched on another treat, considering. “I did get hurt Acheflow. And there isnt anything I can do about it. It was al my fault really and I really messed up. I really messed up and all they can do is be nice to me. Arthur won’t even yell at me for me.”  
“Did you ever think that maybe he isnt mad at you. Sometimes we mess up and that doesn't mean that everyone will hate you.”  
“But I failed him. I was unable to do the one thing that I am meant to do.”  
“What one thing? There is no one thing that Omegas are meant to do for our Alphas. Even if you made one mistake thte are lots of different things we can bring to our mates.”  
This seemed to anger Merlin. “Are you kidding? All my life people have told me that my one purpose in life was to bear pups for my Alpha. That is all I have ever been good for and that is the one thing that I have worked to avoid. I hid for most of my life so that I might be more than some Alpha’s breeder and here you are trying to tell me that there is more than that? Either you or they are lying to me, and I haven’t found much else for me to do other than breed new Alphas!” Tears began to leak from Merlin’s eyes and he turned away.   
“Merlin, I know that you have been raised differently from me. I know that people have told you all kinds of horrible things but you are worth more than a breeder. I promise.”  
Merlin couldn’t look at his friend. He wanted to belive what Acheflow, Gaius and Arthur had been telling him the fast few days but a lifetime of hateful words and discrimination would not be undone in a day. He couldn’t unwrap himself from the idea that he was worth so little that nobody else could ever really care. 

They sat together for a while and ate the treats. Acheflow left when Arthur returned with supper but he was determined to return again and continue to support one of his few friends.


End file.
